If you plan on breaking up with someone who is violent, rest assured, you are doing the right thing. You cannot die of a broken heart, but you can from a violent partner. The thing about violent partners is that sometimes their violence is latent and only comes out on occasions. You may not know your partner is violent until you break up with them. That is why you cannot take chances with violent partners. They are not safe to be around during good times, nonetheless during a break up.
I went out with a man for eight years. He never got violent with me until he found out I went out with someone else. He got violent with the guy, and I had to break up with him once and for all.
If you sense your partner will get violent, meet them in a public place. This might not even deter them from throwing something at you, but it is safer than inviting them to your place. If you have a car or suitcase, bring their possessions because you do not want this person over your house again. Meet in a place that is equidistant from each other so you are not tempted one last fling. A park is a good place to meet. You do not have to worry about the bill, drinking or a public audience.
Once you meet, lay all your cards on the table. Tell him or her you can not tolerate their abusive behavior anymore, possessiveness/jealousy, cheating—whatever the case may be. You do not want to be friends either. Sometimes, we cannot be friends with our ex’s. It is impossible. Shake hands, give them their stuff, and split as fast as you can.
Once you get home, you have business to take care of. Change your locks immediately. Chances are your partner has the key and will not relinquish it. They will come knocking if the break up was sudden. My ex came barging in to my apartment to steal a fax machine he gave me. I needed it for work and took it with me into the bedroom. I could hear him getting violent in the next room. So do not do as I did. Change your locks immediately. Also, change your phone number. You do not want to be tempted by his/her sweet voice, and you do not want to hear from them again. When you break up with someone who is violent, you must play it on the safe side. Worry about the cost and inconvenience later.
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